Dr. Dwight Norwood, PhD, LICSW
This situation takes a big toll:
When our job is no longer there through lay-offs, illness or retirement we may find ourselves adrift in a life that has suddenly lost structure or meaning.
Often men get caught up in the business of the day and when they arrive home, they express their feelings in unintentionally destructive ways by literally "dumping" on their significant other. This doesn't work. The relationship can only go downhill from there. Sometimes it's necessary to learn new skills, such as "anger management".
Most men have difficulty talking about or even acknowledging their feelings. They seldom talk about their feelings to their spouse or significant other and especially not to other men. We have been taught to feel that it is a sign of weakness, even though it is really a sign of strength and of courage.
Men who get in touch with their feelings can reinvent themselves, opening up new possibilities in personal relationships and the way we live. "Intimacy" is a word we shy away from, yet it is the very thing which can bring fulfillment and the deepest level of personal contact into our lives.
For the most part, men have not been brought up to express their feelings at all, much less in a constructive way. Remember the song, "Big Boys Don't Cry?" I'll bet your grandfather and father didn't cry. I was sixteen years old before I ever saw my father cry. The truth is, most men lack the skills to express their feelings, and without being able to fully express yourself life will continue to feel incomplete.
If you're a man who feels that he is not living life to the fullest in the here-and-now, if you're "stuck", always worrying about the future or reminiscing about the past please call me now to make a change.
Men have a particularly hard time in having their emotional needs met. Our society teaches us to bury our feelings and deny our needs. In the words of one poet "we turn our faces to the wall and we die".